I have always been a serious person. Even as a very small child, I tended to be more pensive than playful. I was not (and am not) adverse to laughing and having fun – it’s just that my default seems to be more contemplative than cheery. Yet at the same time, I adore people who are lighthearted, who do move towards play as their primary mode of being. So a little over a year-and-a-half ago I started this blog, in part to share joy with others, and in part to help condition myself to go more for frivolity than solidity.
And it worked for a while. During the latter part of 2012 and the early part of 2013, I experienced a definite shift in my personality. I felt lighter and more sprightly than I ever had before. But after over 400 consecutive daily posts, I also felt like this space was turning more into “work” than a hobby – so I decided to let this blog go, and move on to other pursuits. I figured that I had learned what I needed to from this experience, and that the shift I gained over the year of writing the blog would sustain over the coming months (and hopefully even longer).
Well, I was wrong. Slowly, slowly, my inner being moved back towards the musing end of the emotion spectrum – and some days it even dips into moody realms. While I still practice noticing many small delights that crop up in my daily life, the lack of noting them has caused my inner landscape to revert back to familiar territory – a space that is stoic, solemn, serious.
I want to re-experience the spaciousness I felt a year ago, and reclaim the joy that seemed to flow so easily through me. I also want to go back to sharing my small moments of delights with others; it was only when I ended the blog that I realized exactly how many people looked forward to seeing these little nuggets of happiness along side me every day.
I’m re-engaging with this space first for me, but secondarily for my friends, family, and all the others whose path I am lucky enough to cross. May we all enjoy little moments of levity every day – ’cause life is just too darn short for anything else. :)